Your Dog's Set of Rules

So I came across a book talking about things a dog must remember. Some of these rules are funny yet true. So in lieu to this, let me just share some dog rules I'd written for my dogs to take into account.

1. I shall not eat cat's food, before and after they eat it. Such rule applies to food I've eaten as well, no more putting it back in my mouth.

2. Diapers, tampons, and dirty laundry are not tasty treats.

"Laundry day is Nom Nom day!"

3. The master's pillow is not a face towel. Neither are the sofa or my master's lap.

4. Car wheels are not rolling steaks. Although they feel like raw meat, they do not taste like it.

5. The mail man and garbage collector are not intruders. They are not there to steal our stuff.

6. The master's underwear is not a tug-of-war toy, neither is it a hanky.

"Oh wait, I forgot to mention that the master's hair is also not for tug-of-war."

7. The act of shaking off water out of my fur is to be done OUTSIDE the house.

"That's right... outside... not inside."

8. I will not roll on the ground where I peed, pooped or where tiny dead creatures are present.

9. When riding in a car, I will try my best to have my head and tongue inside the rather than sticking out... even when my doggy senses are telling me otherwise.

10. The table is not a mountain I need to conquer everyday. I should be given incentives for days I stay on the floor.

11. I will not bury my bone in Mom's flower bed.

"Today, the garden patch. Tomorrow, the world!!!"

12. "No" and "Go" may sound the same but have completely different meanings.